Ezreal on Next Tank: "he is really, really, really cool!", and More
Ezreal once again hit his massive thread (which now has over 2,000,000 views) with some more information.
Recently I had an idea for a librarian-type champ. I know it sounds boring, but in reality I think it could be quite fun.
Basically, we've seen a lot of Demacian military-type characters, but surely a nation such of theirs reveres knowledge, too? I was thinking about this, and decided that this could make a good concept.
Essentially, the champion would be a wannabe-author type champion looking for inspiration in the league of legends, but suffers from chronic writers block (this could be changed if it's too cheesy.). She would be manaless, but as she attacks and uses abilities, she gains 'Inspiration', and when she gains full inspiration she can add a chapter to her book, perhaps gaining AP or other stats in the process.
I thought she could have a passive called 'The Quill is...' then her Q could be '... mightier than the sword!'. Yeah, I know. Cheesy. Other abilities could be 'Cliffhanger', 'Plot Twist' and her ult could be called 'Flash of Inspiration'.
Of course, when she dies, she dies in a explosion of papers.
I was thinking of her being called Fleta, after a mythical Irish writer.
Good idea, or no?
PS: cat girl ezreal plz
I have to applaud you for such a unique idea. It has it's own flavor which feels very league of legends. I especially love your ability names (I can just imagine plot twist as an awesome ult). We actually concepted a paper mage for a while. There were a number of iterations on this character. It started off as someone who could manipulate words (using paper) to create effects. We then modified it to become sort of a 'rune mage', someone who could etch runes onto the battlefield and later detonate them.
While we loved the core concept, and felt that it was rather unique...we could never quite solve a number of issues on it. The first issue was the source of power. It ended up being such a unique SoP that most people just couldn't quite grasp it, much less guess what sort of abilities he would have. We also ran into the issue of making him look cool. And this is an area where the librarian would also get hit. Making a librarian look awesome would be quite a feat. That's not to say that it is impossible, but it simply added one more issue to the champion. These issues, along with others, made us move away from this concept.
I was wanting to ask you a few questions and hope you'll look them over!
1) What happened to the old 3v3 map?
2) Will riot ever bring back that old map design?
3) Will there be a new map/game mode coming in 2013? If so, what would it be like? (capture the flag, free for all, etc.)
and aside from questions, i had an idea! Maybe instead of getting rid of the old 3v3 map you could set it as a choice to choose from when you go to the 3v3/5v5 setup and have it selected as either old 3v3 map or new. Thanks for taking the time to read this!
1) We strive to make the best experience on all of our maps. So we only release changes when we believe they are the best possible variant. So while we do hold on to the files, it is not likely that we will ever re-release old Twisted Treeline.
2) See above.
3) I'm afraid I have no insight into new maps.
I read your last posts and questions about bushes.
What if there was a champion that used large scissors as a weapon? He could throw small scissors or something as a move and remove bushes (or made them look half cut so characters are visible and targetable) temporarily like you mentioned. Then it could have a hidden passive with Cait referencing her old build or headshot.
We have discussed the idea of using scissors as a weapon. It is a very anime trope, which does have a LoL feel. I love that scissors, despite being small in nature, have a certain dangerous quality to them. Using that innately dangerous quality and sizing it up adds uniqueness to it. It actually reminds me a lot of skarner. Turns out making small dangerous things large makes them a ton scarier. The ability works as well, nice idea!
Will there be upcoming Tank champions? Everytime I queue we always get faced with the question: "Who's going to tank?" and such. It would be really cool if there were Tanky champs too
We are striving to hit multiple of every class each year, so yes, we have a tank in production. And the next one...gah...I have to hold back from giving any spoilers. But he is really, really, really cool!
Hey Ezreal i don't ever comment on posts on the forum but today im feeling courageous anyways
1: Can we please have global taunts for first blood? this would only make the champions who make us feel like BAs seem more... BA! lol
2: Is there any chance we could see a champion use a whip as there weapon? pref an adc since getting crits with a whip would be sick!
3: Also can we have a witch doctor type champion? i mean there is a place called the Voodoo lands...
1) Honestly global taunts are pretty obnoxious. While it feels pretty good to do the taunt, it feels terrible to be taunted. It also leads your teammates to feel negatively towards the taunted player. The overall positive to negative value of the feature is likely not worth it. An alternate variant that would likely feel better is a global woot upon making a pentakill. It would be rare enough, and it would make the person and team who got it feel awesome. And the other team would at least see the awesome happen, and doesn't have a single individual to get mad at.
2) I could see this happening in the future. There are a number of whip based variants that are just begging to be used in our game.
3) It's pretty tough to make a truly amazing witch doctor. Though I would love to see a few examples if you have any!
Any hints of the next champion? =D
She has a falcon...
Hey Ezreal, was tossing around some ideas last night for a champion Idea.
Do you think League of Legends will ever see a true Rogue? Someone you would not want to meet in an ally way. Plays dirty, back stabbing a-hole. Which got me thinking, how would a meat shield style of ult play out? You grab your enemy and any enemy damage to you is instead done to your meat shield, then when the suppression ends you dash backwards dealing damage if the target is still alive.
Against this idea though, it would probably be really anti-fun to have your own allies do damage to you, but I thought it could be an interesting idea.
The meat shield idea has too much anti fun surrounding it. The amount of harassment you can have on allied characters would make this ability unacceptable. Players could attack the target not minding if their ally is taking damage. Heck, even if they did it accidentally, it would still feel like griefing. So while it is a cool idea...which it is, it still leads to too much griefing potential.
I'd first of all like to say thank you for doing this! It's always refreshing to see reds come out and discuss future plans with the player base
But, for my question, I'm wondering how you feel about Anivia? I've been picking her up for my team recently to great success, and from watching recent tournaments, it's quite apparent she is VERY strong. She requires a great deal of skill and positioning to use, so is it more okay to you that she's on the stronger side? Thanks in advance!
I wouldn't say that Anivia is any more powerful than other champions, her abilities either have high amounts of counterplay or are difficult to use. To elaborate, take Flashfrost ability is exceedingly slow, and requires timing to utilize well. The ability for enemies to avoid this ability allows us to make it a ranged aoe stun. Another example is her wall, Crystalize, this ability requires a good understanding of placement and timing. Additionally, many enemy champions can get around it via movement abilities. This allows us to place a bit of extra power on skills like this.
In your last answer thread you mentioned a psionic champion. How do feel about a dampening field of some kind? Projectiles that pass through it deal less dmg and enemy champions inside of it deal less dmg and are slowed for its duration. I think this would make some very interesting counter-play and area denial (Finally! a counter for Nid spears).
I would be interested to see how the tech design team tackles this issue as well (from a code standpoint).
I have always loved the idea of making a zone which slows down projectiles (especially skill shots). In fact, I wanted to work this into an old, no longer being worked on, champion named Tempus. Unfortunately this ability would feel great fighting against skill shots, but wouldn't actually do anything but delay the damage on single target abilities. This would make it too situational, and not work as well in LoL.
Who are you currently in a relationship with?
Is it Jayce?
But that is just because we named the character after her screen name.
Why not make it so that you can upgrade the item each time you upgrade your ult 6,11,16 or make it so you can add one of the other effects into the already bought upgrade like being able to buy power at level 11 after you already bought death or something along those lines, idk if this makes any sense but hopefully you get it :P
That is a pretty neat way of doing Viktor's passive, I'll pass the idea along.
Ezreal, what do you think about a game mode in wich you choose a champion, and you get randomized abilities, except from passive, just for fun, in wich the map could be proving grounds?
There were a few games floating around in the Warcraft III days which would allow you to either play randomized champions, or make your own. It felt pretty neat for a bit, but lacked any real depth. Most games just ended up being luck of the draw. Sometimes you would get a character with no damage capability, and sometimes you would get a character with 4 stunning nukes. It was simply too variable to be fun consistently.
Hi Ezreal, just heard bout the new champ, Thresher, from CertainlyT.
His passive is apparently an indefinite stacking buff that increases MR, Armor, and AP. Now, I heard that Morello said champs who can indefinitely raise stats have huge balancing issues, champs like Nasus, Veigar, and Sion.
Is this champ somehow exempt from that line of thinking? Or is Riot willing to allow champs with infinite scaling into the game?
We are willing to allow champs with infinite scaling into the game within limit. If we do it sparingly then it stays special. As for Thresh, he actually had a few ways of softening the problem. First, he lacks the base scaling for MR / AR that champions would normally have, thus making him focus on farming souls. Second, the benefit he gets from souls diminishes as he starts getting large numbers of souls. This allows the initial souls to be more impactful, while also softening the infinite scaling issue.
Why doesn't Zed's ult go through Zhonya's? (or explode right after)
He already has little damage, but this makes him downright worthless.
Any time you have two abilities say opposite things, one of them needs to take priority. Zed's ultimate states damage, while Zhonya's states don't take damage and can't be targeted. The don't take damage is simply prioritized over Zed's ultimate.
It is also a bit far to say that a single item that usually goes onto a single class makes a champion worthless. Try baiting out the Zhonya's with his other abilities. Or hold off on ulting until his Zhonya's is down. Also, his ult has a shorter cooldown that Zhonya's. So there should be periods that he can ult on her if he uses it on cooldown.
had a weird idea for an ultimate which was inspired a bit by Final Fantasy VII. There's a limit break attack where you fire a beam at an enemy which then splits apart doing damage to enemies surrounding it but does reduced damage the more enemies are around. Do you see this working in LoL? Have it be range limited as well?
I have seen abilities like this in other games, and while it sounds cool, it leads to a best case / worst case problem. In the worst case, a 1v1, the ability deals next to no damage. And as an ultimate it is largely wasted. In the best case, a 5v5 w/20 minions, it instant pentakills. While we could bring these edge cases closer, there will always be a best case / worst case problem. Making the ultimate a waste some of the time, and overpowered the rest of the time.
Hello Ezreal, The page about Champions on the LoL wikia has section about hinted champions and two of the hints seem to be the two newest champions so here is my questions
1) "A female champion who is "strong, non-sexualized, and heroic", initially designed to be male by IronStylus." is this Vi?
2) "A male support hinted by Ezreal." is this Thresh?
1) The strong, non-sexualized, heroic female champion made by IronStylus is actually Quinn and Valor, our upcoming champion.
2) And yes, the male support I hinted at was Thresh.
Where have you been for the past 3 weeks?
I can only really answer this thread as thoroughly as I do every 2-4 weeks due to the sheer time commitment of it. Sorry guys.
Isn't this because Malady works opposite the penetration improvements? It is a resist reduction, not a flat penetration increase, meaning it applies first. Functionally it is much worse than penetration (except it applies to your entire team) and takes much longer to apply.
Not only is it not very efficient, but it also doesn't build into anything later-game, making it an unlikely pick.
Ouch, I never really thought about it that way. It is interesting that resist reduction could actually be worse than resist penetration in some cases. I'll pass this on.
Aaaand you totally dodged my question
thanks for the 3 week wait
was really wanting some red insight on Sonas E
guess I shall have to write it again and HOPE you answer it
Sonas E is probably one of the weakest actives in the game, its mana cost is high, it does pretty much nothing for 3 levels, Jayce shoots it out of the water from his rank 1 E what is better then Sonas rank 5 E (better utility on a bruiser then a support by a loooong shot), the only thing keeping it alive is the powerchord
Please awnser this one...I kept it short just for you
Sona's E has four different aspects: It passively speeds up allies, it is a large area on demand speed boost, it charges up power chord, and it serves as a slow for power chord. Having so many different elements on one ability has diminished individual aspects of power. This is largely a flaw in Sona's design. If she didn't have the aura, then we could have likely doubled the power of the speed boost.
Now that all being said, it might currently be underpowered. As she falls out of the spotlight this seems like one of the first areas that we would boost.
Hey Ez, how about an earth mage that uplifts an arena (like jarvan's ult) but instead of trapping enemys and allies alike... Rises an area of terrain with aura buffs/nerfs and enemys may choose between fighting on it or falling and taking damage and slow?
While that is a cool image, the gameplay is mostly identical to Thresh's ultimate. His ult is a ring that says, don't move out of it or else you'll be damaged and get slowed. The only differences are that parts of Thresh's wall breaks, and the visual differences (which are actually problematic, since any time you make something vertical you obscure everything behind it.
Back in October Morello hit the forums on this topic. However he is back, with new posts
Yeah, aware this is an old thread, still this remains relevant:
What happens when new releases are usually overpowered? Power level across the board increases, just as you said.
What about when more of these new champs belong to some classes than others? The classes with more new additions powercreep more than the other classes. This is why support is declining in power relative to the other classes.
Sure, you can bring S3 itemization into discussion (call me on "sightstone" and I'll raise you "locket" which is currently more useful on bruiser than support, or anything related to health stacking, which supports generally can't do), but as a class that largely doesn't get items (especially in competitive play), should this really be used in defending the state of support?
Support items (via gold) were one of the most buffed classes in Season 3 (maybe except bruisers...BRUUUUISSEEEERSSSSS!), but there's still way more upward powercreep than there is power loss. This is becoming more problematic in characters who have low skill ceilings (looking at you many Fighters and Taric!) because if they're as strong as other options in a myriad of situations, then that invalidates ever taking the risk or preference choice to play something that does allow you to showcase skill.
Comparing the game each season shows an increase in power. Some of that is natural growth and maturation (people learn more on how to optimize the game as they get access to more pro streams, spectator brought this up, replays will bring this up) as well as new champions or items. The game will naturally creep upward, so that's where nerfs combat that.
Love the balance in this game. Better nerf Taric and leave health stacking untouched.
Untouched is interesting as we just nerfed health stuff last patch. And whether its a problem or not has little to do with Taric's problems.
But why continue to ignore the problem that caused health stacking? Too much ArP and MR items that are too niche for a tank to want to invest in them made health the only reasonable gold investment for tanks/tanky DPS/squishy champ who needs durability. Tanks aren't typically rolling in gold.
I really need to get Xyph and company in here - there's a direction they're going with this, and that the problem is how this interacts with characters who were balanced for the old system.
I have to agree. Janna is just pathetic at the moment and it boggles my mind why she's currently in this state. She doesn't even offer a heal, so you can't argue that's why she's been so nerfed ala Soraka. I as well don't understand why supports keep getting nerfed and nerfed.
The same reason Fighters are about to. We're trying to generally reduce power because of the amount of power creep.
It can feel bad, but feels a lot better than the opposite, over the long-term.
I'll be sure to necro this thread in a year and hold you accountable for that! Janna better be FOTM XD
I think there's several areas of our game where, if I wasn't worried about the shock value to the playerbase, we'd tear an entire subset of things in half to get power back in check. Supports feel close to me (and maybe even get buffs if not - which is cool!) and Fighters are way off. Mages and ADC are the closest imo.
Power creep? Supports? Are we living on the same planet?
Seriously, stop dodging my questions and tell us WHY supports are power creeping (and please, don't even talk about the items). Enlighten us, we're listening.
Most supports were so overtuned since their inception that we've been trying to undo it. Think of it this way;
Two cities have different tax rates. City A has an 8% tax rate, and City B has a 35% tax rate.
City A's taxes keep getting raised by about 2% a year. After 5 years, they have an 18% tax rate. It's likely people would be mad about how the city is overtaxing, and the whole city has changed into something that's all about taxes - even if they're no where near the 35% of City B.
The point here is if you start at a place that's too high or too low, you'll have to make many more changes to get it to the right spot. Supports have less power creep, but they had one of the highest starting values as a classification. ADC did for a long time too, and most were nerfed much more than buffed - putting them into a much healthier state today.
Original support champions weren't tuned for a 0CS game originally - that came up in the S2 meta. We've had to make adjustments to meet that, and then we saw where things were much more crazy than we'd ever thought.
So, I understand the feeling, but the goal is to get them on the right power mean, and then balance them against each other. This requires a total power reduction.
You just had S3 then, which was your big chance to do just that.
How come you kept it so tame?
What we could get done in the time frame. It was pretty crazy to even get what we got done.
may I just ask what are your plans to return viability back to the roles that lost them s3 (assassins, adc to an extent, and burst ap )?
will you simply nerf other champions to lower the playing field and slow power creep, or will new items come to renew the roles of said classes?
The only one of those roles that has any viability problem is burst (whether assassin or AP). It's something we need to fix, but it might not be the way you expect.
Playing the game, as it stands, I would agree with your assessment. While I still think most supports could use tiny buffs once you're able to balance them against eachother more closely, I think once you adjust the fighters and balanced them will be a lot more even across the board.
That's the goal, and the focus, for the team right now. The support one has been a slow burn (and was pretty contingent on getting ADC fixed - see the difference in ADC viability between this thread's inception and now? ) and Fighters are going to be hit more aggreesively.
A lot of people love fighters. Lowering their total power is going to make support nerfs look popular =/
Oh please lord comment on ziggs. What's his problem? He's part of the burst family that is good in lane, but just falls off after that unless you get ridiculously fed, which anyone can do well if ridiculously fed.
Will you buff his minefields utility or something? GImme an example here. And please tell me ziggs is part of the problem. Even if you read this and say "I dont know" is good enough for me. Ziggs is my favorite champion, and it sucks when i don't feel like people pay attention to him from a balance perspective.
I think he's lacking a "reason" past lane to exist, and needs a distinct niche. There's some trepidation on the team to doing the wrong buffs here, but it's something I'd like to see.
IronStylus Talks Even More About Quinn and Valor
Thanks. Here's a giant wall of text. This has been piling up in my brain all evening so I apologize that you have to be the recipient of this giant mind-dump.
Someone broke all this down especially well on reddit:
A lot of it is about expectations, how we set them, how we manage them, and how we might flip them. This post actually helped me wrap my head around what others, such as yourself, were saying. I was able to understand the rationale but also to figure out why I had made the decisions I had made and realize that I felt I made appropriate ones. It helped me come to terms with the feedback, negative or positive, and my own rationale on her design.
At the end of that person's post they link to a number of different "rangers" from Magic the Gathering. What people expected, by the journal and other hints, was the first few examples. The compact wilderness acclimated looking ones. They expected that, rightly so. That's the common fantasy trope. What it turns out what we gave people was more like the Ranger of Eos, the dude in heavier armor. It dawned on me then that this is what we were consciously or subconsciously gunning for. The most toned down a Demacian military-proper officer would be is how Quinn looks. Much like the latter ranger example, he's actually in heavier plate armor. This sort of soldier/ranger hybrid is what we on the team gravitated towards. We didn't want what essentially broke down to Woad Ashe. We also didn't want to make her too slick.
Everything to this point has been very good feedback, all things considered. I always think critically when I receive feedback, that's how I integrate and iterate. Critique from players like yourself are extremely valuable, and they're something not a ton of game developers have access to in the industry. Loud and passionate voices come to the forefront, and as reactive humans, we take that vocal feedback very seriously.
I'm very glad you find her design more pleasing as you grow into it. One of the big things to remember is that we're actually not designing for the view you're looking at when you see standard concept art. The RTS angle doesn't really care about anything on the front of a character because that's going to foreshorten, dissapear and/or compress when in game. However, places where we get a ton of real estate are the back, head, shoulders, arms, upper legs, and weapon/source of power. Some visual design choices, though they seem awkward front-on, end up working pretty decently in our game because they're strategically placed where the eye focuses or action occurs, in that angle specifically. Quinn's knee pads are a bit impractical, but they jump out of the silhouette a bit because they're pointy. Same thing with her large pockets which are trimmed with gold, those come over the thigh a bit and create a rhythm in game that isn't really apparent from head-on. Gauntlet, big visual marker and story telling element. Helmet, mainly decoration to accent the head. Holster on her back to break internal detail but be a communicating functional aspect. It's all there for a reason.
Some may argue that she's a bit mish-mashed, and I can totally understand that, however while we didn't want to overload her with tackle, we needed to break her out from the standard fantasy Demacian motif. We stuck components in to break up symmetry because we didn't want for her to have too much filigreeing or grandiosity.
Some also argue that she's over-designed. I'd agree to an extent, however it's an intentional over designing in many respects. We tried slimming down, making her more streamlined, etc. Her model, up until a couple of weeks ago, looked very much like just a woman in a costume. It didn't say anything special in terms of story. We went in and changed that because we felt she needed to feel in some way more substantial, in visual storytelling and in form.
She is indeed highly motif-ed also. I've seen some feedback saying, "It's like Quinn is saying I'M A BIRD. LOOK. BIRDS. BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS." That's not entirely off the mark. Demacian's aren't exactly subtle, and Quinn in that vein needed to abide in a way that incorporated some of that Demacian flagrant dress. We did want to flip it a bit though, we wanted to say something along the lines of.. if Demacian's are over the top in how they dress, how would you tone down the blue and gold thing in a way that still feels Demacian? Damn if that's ever hard to figure out. We made up for the lack of gleaming gold and blue with the overt, smash-you-over-the-head theme of avian. Quinn is somewhere between Batman, an army ranger, and a SWAT team member. An elite soldier who's using the motif of her primary inspiration while incorporating it into what, in a fantasy world, acts as utilitarian.
All that said, I don't expect everyone to love her design. That's not our job here. Morello has stated that many times. Not everyone will love everything. The only thing I ask is that we're given a chance to try the weird thing in our heads! If it falls flat, we'll learn from that and iterate again. With the amount of depth in our roster we have endless possibilities in skins and in future champions. Somewhere along the line, everyone will find someone they like, or hopefully love.
I do expect some pain along the way, I'm happy to absorb it. Our decisions are going to defy and upset at times. When we give you "our version" of an archetype it's going to rub people the wrong way and it will probably come off as feeling executed poorly. I understand that that's what curve balls do to establish expectations.
In the lack of context, or messaging, people usually fall back on "it just looks.. bad". It's absolutely ok for someone to feel that and rationalize it, but as an artist I have to challenge that statement. People can explain why something might not be working, but if it essentially equates to, "it looks ugly" or "I don't like it" I tend to poke at that because I don't find that a rationale for arguing against a particular design, especially when dealing in a fantasy game. Trying to rationalize fantasy or sci-fi is a head spinning experience.
If someone wants to come to me on the grounds of character design, then by all means please do. Speak to me in terms of.. Does it abide by the tone of LoL? Does it incorporate the proper form language? Does it have communicating elements of story? does it have proper material seperations? Are the colors being used properly for a game read? Are there iconic elements? Is the source of power clear? Is the frequency of detail too much or too little for the purposes of in-game readibility? People offering critique who just say.. "I don't like it." or "Looks like a dude." That's a great way to get an artist irritated and to not further a conversation. It's like telling a designer "That mechanic just feels dumb". Not terribly helpful. Learning the languages each other speaks goes a long way with helping to understand context and why we do what we do. Usually.. USUALLY, we have a good reason =)
Anyway, that's a lot of words, and I'm pretty tired. I've also been sucking down a ton of feedback in the last day, sorry for dumping a bunch of conclusions and rambling here.
On the plus side, this has taught me a lot too. I have to be conscious of getting defensive, rude, or prickly. I have to understand expectations and warn people properly when I plan on smashing those expectations with a bird, and I have to be cautious of redundancy in my designs. That's all stuff I'm learning and integrating.
On the justification side of things, this tends to be how Volty, Runaan and myself roll. We do not like convention. You can see that reflected in what we did with Diana, and what we've done with Quinn and Valor. Visually, Quinn is not a traditional ranger, she is something completely different and frankly jarring to the unprepared. Kit wise, on the surface i've seen a comment or two saying it's convoluted. Lore wise there are questions as to why we would take someone from the working class of Demacia and make them "just another elite", stating that we've squandered an opportunity. Indeed, that's what it might look like on the surface, but as they say.. we have to go deeper!
There's reasons we do all of these things. We know in our heart they'll have novelty as well as longevity. They're going to be tough to swallow at first but they end up synergizing the longer they are allowed to coalesce. What seems at odds from one angle ends up making sense from another, and what we've found is that what ends up being sometimes abrasive and very unfamiliar at first, (see Diana's kit, theme and visuals) ends up being something endearing and really special. We hope the same will be said of Quinn. We had a lot of challenges to overcome, and of course we'd do some things differently, but honestly I think we've created something unique that will not end up being a throwaway, but will in the end deepen our world and our game.
Keep a lookout for an AMA that we're probably going to do about Quinn and Valor in the near future. I'll be touching on a lot of this I feel, as will Volty and Runaan. There's been a lot of controversy, but there's also been a lot of consensus. I'd rather have the former drive iteration and change than the latter leading us to a place of stagnation.
All in all, I'm glad things are sitting better with you. I take this all very, very seriously, so any feedback that I see I take pretty seriously and sometimes personally. There are risks to that, but I feel in the end it makes me a more responsible and agile developer.
Also, by popular demand, here's a little insight on how I design:
Champion and Skin Sale
I’m afraid we’ve got some bad news. Our lawyers just informed us that Karthus has received a drunken disorderly following our last 18 concerts, which is news to us because we just found out that’s an actual crime. Unfortunately, this Demacian judge is a real hardass, and the only plea deal he’s offering requires us to assign Karthus a “sober companion” to keep him from relapsing. We tried to explain that anybody who gets between Karthus and the keg usually winds up dead, but he keeps insisting. Besides, sending Karthus to jail would mean canceling the tour, and we’re already in the hole since Olaf burned down that hotel in Piltover because the concierge insulted his hat.
I guess we’ll have to interview some candidates. But first pass me that bottle of Jarvan Walker. I haven’t had breakfast yet, and there’s no way I can make a decision like this on an empty stomach.
- I think you’re over-qualified for this position, Kennen MD. We appreciate your interest, but you may find this particular patient’s vitals difficult to monitor. You know… because he’s dead. 487 RP
- It’s cool that you want to roll out the red carpet, King Tryndamere, but I think Karthus might have some trouble fitting in with your entourage. Besides, we’ve crossed some lines before, but I’m not sure the label’s thrilled by the idea of putting up a legal defense for regicide. 487 RP
- Sorry, Bilgewater Swain. This band has to take a stand against piracy, and I just wouldn’t feel right employing somebody who’s part of the problem – even if the job’s likely to lead to a grisly death. Try buying a record next time. 487 RP
- What the hell are you thinking, showing up here, Nautilus? You can’t be a sober companion – you drink like a fish! Look us up when you’re back on the wagon. 487 RP
- Corki, the last time we asked you to keep an eye on Karthus, he convinced you to let him drive the gyrocopter. The cops said that his blood alcohol levels were at nearly 100%. Sorry, but that’s just bad judgment. 395 RP
- Look, Swain, did you think I’d change my mind just because you switched skins? You downloaded the last ten albums off Bilgewater Bay; you’re not getting a job with the band! 440 RP
Unless you buy them, we’ll have to hire one of these poor saps to keep Karthus off the sauce. That’s not going to end well for anybody, so head over to the League of Legends store between February 15 and the sentencing hearing on February 18.
I can’t believe you $#*ing guys are going make me quit drinking. I mean, what would I do without booze, huh? You can’t really expect me to do this sober!
Karthus, you really have to see how you’ve contributed here. It isn’t our fault you can’t hold your liquor – you haven’t got a stomach. Besides, you were going strong until you took those six hits off Sona’s Oracle’s Elixir. I could understand if you were the support, but that’s just irresponsible. Tell him, Sona.
Hey @#$& you, you ^$*ing #$*@s! I !$#^ing carry this %&^*ing band! Who the *&%$ing @!#$ do you &%#$s think you are making me get clean? @#%^ing %^&# this $%#@, I’m going to @%^$ing kill whoever you @#^$ing hire and then drink vast quantities of mead. @#%#!
Well, I don’t think anybody’s going to top that. Um… our new record, Death Rides a Pale Boar is in stores now. And don’t steal it because, you know… we’ll kill you.