Dear Trolls, D-bags, & Toxic Players

  • I honestly didn't think this would turn into such a big deal... But anyway, it seems this came up several times so...

    I understand that a lot of you think telling me to suffer through the harassment, block them, report them, move on and grow a thicker skin is the right thing to do because that's just how things are.

    And I'm telling you that is exactly what I do and I'm tired of it and I'm not going to do it anymore. I didn't do anything wrong, why should I have to suffer through it and make sure I'm in total anonymity at all times? Just because that's how things are, doesn't mean it's right. Why can't I say something about it and hope for change?

    I'm not turning a blind eye to the fact that males harass each other, as some of you guys point out and I never said I was ok with that. It's wrong and should also be dealt with. But I'm not a guy and I'm stating my case from my point of view as a girl. I have to deal with sexual harassment on top of everything else, you don't? Or am I wrong and like there have been males sexually harassed on this game and have been told "well you suck because you're a dude"?

    For those of you who say I'm "oversensitive".. How about you're under-sensitive..? You make it sound like it's bad to care... Where would the world be if people didn't care? LoL community in real life I suppose....

    Also, I really didn't think I'd get this much attention by revealing my gender. But then again, how is that my fault? Females use the internet. Females play video games. People should learn to respect that, just like how they've learned to respect that women can pursue higher education and have careers. The only reason this is a big deal is because you all made it into a big deal.

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    Ok let's try this again, maybe I can explain it in a better way now that I've calmed down.

    Hi, everyone. My name's Ashley. I like playing League of Legends just like the rest of you. I've played this game for nearly a year and I've had repeat experiences with which I am unhappy about and would like to bring the community to light on. It's true that I am a girl, but that shouldn't matter to you or anyone else in this community. I deal with trolls and ragers just like the rest of you, but I also have to deal with sexual harassment and sexist comments. (I hope I'm right to assume that it hasn't happened to any males on this game.)

    I don't see why I should have to change my name or my "feminine behavior" (in other words, my attitude) or hide my gender, as if it's something to be ashamed of to avoid unwanted attention, solely, because this is a male dominant game. I have never blatantly revealed my gender to this community before today, for attention purposes or for any sort of personal gain as many of you seem to believe.

    Some people find out through various ways. One such incident was when I was playing with a friend who invited a friend that invited another friend, etc. Usually while playing full five premades I get invited to skype call or mumble. These friends of my friends friends obviously realized that I was a girl and took it upon themselves to add me. Whether it was because I was a girl or because they enjoyed gaming with me. Who knows? Since we all had a pretty good time I didn't see any reason to decline. Usually they just sit on my friends' list, they don't talk to me and rarely invite me to games. So it was pretty shocking when this one guy who I barely knew blatantly asked me if I wanted to hook up (to put it in the nicest way possible) and proceeded to pester me about it. I calmly and firmly repeatedly rejected him and he didn't stop until I put my foot down and told him that his behavior and insinuations upset me and were in no way acceptable then removed him (I would have removed him immediately, but I was so surprised that he would even say anything of the sort and I thought it was a joke at first only to find out it wasn't.) I don't think many males will understand? Why it's offensive and why I felt the need to say something about it? Possibly because they've never been through such an experience or maybe the difference in mindset? I don't know, but what I do know is that I didn't like it. It upset me. I don't ever want it to happen to me or any other girl (possibly guy) again.

    Besides that there have been quite a few instances where I've been called out on because of my summoner's name and have been told things like "You're bad because you're a girl." "Look at this kid's name, must be a *** or a girl." "If a girl, must be an ugly beast." "Hey Ashley baby make me a sammich." etc. etc. etc. And sure I do exactly like I always do when being raged at, when people call me bad even when they don't know I'm a girl. I mute them and then I report them after the game. It still doesn't change the fact that the first few comments they made were already read by me. It doesn't change anything that they're of no importance to me, what they said still hurt me. Whether it's true or not. It doesn't even help that I don't even say anything back and try to be the better person.

    And I think that's the part that kills me the most. Not being able to do anything about it. And it happens over and over and over again. Sure I can mute them, but like I said that's only after the damage is done. I only bring up my gender because it relates solely to me, but I know people get ragged on for different things like ethnicity or sexual orientation. I've seen it all on this game and it's horrifying. I had a friend from Argentina who I used to play with, but stopped because he got so much **** being called BR, told he was bad because of it and constantly taunted with poor Spanish. (On a side note Brazilians don't speak Spanish, they speak Portugese.) And they start it just by going on assumption from ping.

    I stick up for people, even when I don't queue with them. It's bullying and it's wrong and I refuse to accept that I should just have to "grow thicker skin" and "deal with it" and not be "oversensitive." I wish Riot and the players themselves would do something about it. Though sadly it doesn't seem like it will happen since apparently this is not the first thread discussing this topic. And also by the way how negatively some people responded. I know things like this happen in the real world on a daily basis, but I play games solely to escape from the cruelty of the real world. That's what I like about video games so much, they're fun and relaxing and they take you away for a little bit. I hate how some people are trying to take even something like that away from me and so many other people.

    I'm not really sure what I was thinking with everything that I said in my original post. Though after re-reading it, I found it kind of embarrassing, and I apologize to those who found it offensive. I didn't intend for it to turn out that way. And I guess I was seeking attention in a way. Not for e-fame or for whatever negative reason people insinuated and pinned on me. I'm glad I sought attention because it introduced me to a bunch of people who are chill and understood me and stood up for me when I was at my worst lol. Which honestly surprised me because it seems good people are hard to come by on this game. (And now I don't have to solo queue, when no one else is on, because with this many people SOMEONE is bound to be on when I want to play.) It also showed me who I should definitely mute and avoid at all costs. Either way upvote or downvote, thanks for making my attention seeking quest a success. Haha.

    Edit
    It's kind of difficult for me to go through all the posts to see who was kind enough to offer to game with me, I saw a few but I don't think I've gotten all. It'd be great if you awesome people would send a friend request my way.

    I don't know if I broke them in the best way, but for whoever asked for more paragraphs so it'd be easier to read... There you go Glad you care enough to spend the time to read it.

    Edit 2
    It seems some people can't grasp the thought of people figuring out I'm a girl by my name. Yea well I was wondering that too. I have a androgynous name, I agree. Though some people figure it out anyway. I guess they just pay more attention to detail? Someone told me they assumed my name was Ashley then therefore assumed I was a girl because they said my summoner name out loud and went off of that. -Shrugs-
  • Sadly, trolls are everywhere online, not just in League. As a female who is a gamer, my perspective is that this kind of behavior is unrelated to why most females don't play games. I don't enjoy the kind of behavior described by the OP, but it won't stop me from playing. When I'm in a patient mood, I ask people who are acting out to please be more constructive or point out that their behavior is only going to negatively affect our team and thus its chances of winning. Amazingly, that actually works sometimes. Sometimes people are just having a bad day and when they get a reality check, they realize they shouldn't take it out on random people. More often though, it doesn't work, and sometimes I'm just not in a patient mood. In those cases, I just mute/ignore those people who start irritating me enough to distract me from the game and having fun. I keep playing though. I'm not going to let trolls ruins my good time - that's exactly what they want!

    All of that being said, when talking to my female friends who don't play video games, they have never said that it was because of the trolls. It's usually that they don't see what's fun about it. They tried this game or that game, and just found it boring.
  • Quote:
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    Originally Posted by Zerglinator View Post
    Find new female friends.
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    Heh, well in general I don't have many female friends. Most of my friends are dudes. Who are nerds. And play games.
  • Quote:
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    Originally Posted by NA Kenneth View Post
    @RiotSchmick - The problem with this in theory is that you are a member of Riot. If people are fighting in queue and you ask them politely to be constructive, they will.

    However, your experiences should be different from ours, because in queue if you ask people to settle down and make compromises, they'll act hostile towards you because we aren't members of Riot, and thus are automatically not respected by any means.
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    Actually, I have only been a member of Riot for the last 6 months. I have only had Riot in my name for less than a month. I have been playing league since January of 2010. My statements were based on the entirety of my experiences since that time.
  • Quote:
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    Originally Posted by SnicerTenu View Post
    I think there are a lot more females that play league then you realize... however I think some of them are embarrassed (for whatever reason) and don't tell anyone, and the others don't want any "un-wanted" attention.

    BTW, are they nerds? or are they gamers? Cause there is a difference.
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    We recently posted our demographics. Over 90% of our players are male:

    http://na.leagueoflegends.com/news/l...ty-infographic

    Yes, nerds and gamers are two different sets of people, but there is overlap. My friends are generally both, as am I.
  • Quote:
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    Originally Posted by Alice Twilight View Post
    stop discriminating against my nerdiness.
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    I'm not. I'm talking about me and my friends.
  • Quote:
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    Originally Posted by Quren View Post
    Most of the girls I know that don't play games are intimidated by it. There's a surprising amount of motor skills required to play most games. The vast majority of us all ready have these skills. If your not used to it though games can be really stressful.
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    Sorry for spamming the thread. I should have read through all the posts before replying to any. Last one for now, I promise!

    Anyway, Quren, you make an interesting point. I did play various sports when I was younger, so I think I have decent motor skills. Also, I am the type of personality that tends to thrive on stress and intensity, so that's just an incentive for me. Maybe I'll poll some of my female friend and see if they think this factor is involved in their non-interest in games.
  • Quote:
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    Originally Posted by Amarik View Post
    So out of curiosity, how many proposals did you get after this one?

    All joking aside, this is the kind of thing the Tribunal is for. Since its creation, I've seen a noticeable dip in trolls/ragers/afkers... until you come to the forums and read most of the responses on the first page to OP.
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    Zero
  • Quote:
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    Originally Posted by SnicerTenu View Post
    90%? I don't think that's right... I mean for starters how are you collecting this data on gender % that play LoL? I doubt you are going door to door and finding out for yourself if the person is really male or female. Which means you are pulling this from online methods, and if this is true then how do you know that the person playing is really male? I mean what's to stop a guy from checking off on Female when asked to identify their gender, or for that matter, what's to stop a woman from checking off on male?

    Which brings us back to my original point. There are more female players then you may realize; they just don't announce it to everyone.

    Also, I know there is a overlap, but are they more like nerds (in the sense that they know everything about sci-fi things and fight over Star Wars and Star Trek) that play games? Or are they more gamers that tend to act nerdy when asked about statistic of a particular game?

    EDIT: Also I don't think the Teemo deaths per second is totally accurate... I think it's much higher then that.
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    I can't speak to the statistics gathering methods as I was not involved and don't know what they are.

    As to your question, they are more like nerds that play games, like me.