Every noob
Down in noob-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Phreak,
The Noob that lived just north of Noob-ville
Did NOT!
The Phreak hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his unquenchable thirst for pie
It could be, perhaps, that his damage was too high.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
That his boots were two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
Though it is the season,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Noobs,
In Basketball, he always loved shooting hoops (I suck at rhyming lol)
Staring down from his jungle with a sour, Phreaky frown
For his smite, unfortunately, was on cooldown
For he knew every noob down in Noobtown beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their wards!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Phreak his mouse nervously clicking,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For,
Tomorrow, he knew...
..All the noob girls and boys
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their boots!
And then! Oh, the wards! Oh, the Wards! Wards! Wards! Wards!
That's one thing he hated! The WARDS! WARDS! Wards! Wards! (Maybe he should get an oracles....just a thought)
Then the Noobs, fat and old, would sit down to a lane
And they'd lane! And they'd lane!
And they'd LANE!
LANE!
LANE!
LANE!
They would feast on Noob-pudding, and rare Heimer
Phreak plays as jax's angler
And THEN
They'd do something
He liked least of all!
Every noob down in Noob-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the noobss would start jungling!
They'd feed! And they'd feed!
And they'd FEED! FEED! FEED! FEED!
And the more the Phreak thought of this Noob-Christmas-Sing,
The more the Phreak thought, 'I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for 5 years I've put up with it now!
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE PHREAK
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! (if you're wondering, his plan is to gank them and ruin christmas =/)(This makes sense somehow)
"I know just what to do!" The Phreak laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Caitlyn hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Phreaky trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like a ... -__-"
"All I need is a Hecarim."
The Phreak looked around.
But, since 'rims are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Phreak...?
NO! The Phreak simply said,
"If I can't find a 'rim, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Jesse. And prepared the bed (if you know what I mean)
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN
He loaded some shields
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh
And he hitched up old Perring
Then the Phreak said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the lane where the noobs
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their bushes were dark. Quiet /taunts filled the air.
All the 'rakas were all healing sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little noob on the square.
"This is noob number one," the old Phreak Claus hissed
And he ran to the bush, tons of damage in his fist.
Then he ran to the bush. A rather large beak(cut me some slack, Phreak > Beak)
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Phreak
He got dissed only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the green bush
Like corcki, he flew out of it. WHOOSH!
"These k/d's," he grinned, "are the first things to SWOOSH! (don't ask what I was thinking)
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole lane, and he killed every noob!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Phreak, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up to the jungle.
Where he'd share it with his best friend, Rumble.
He heard some raging at mid from the kid,
"And NOW!" grinned the Phreak!, "I will kill their mid!
And the Phreak grabbed the noob, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the of a dove.
He tuned around fast, and he saw a small noob
Little Morello, who was not more than two.
The Phreak had been spotted while he was bored.
Morello got out of her lane to put down a ward.
She stared at the Phreak and said, "Phreaky Claus, why?!
"Why are you taking our Mid lane? WHY!?"
But, you know, that old Phreak was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little noob," the fake Phreaky Claus lied.
Trust me, Your mid lane won't die
I'll take him home to my jungle, my dear.
"I'll fix him up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the noob. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed. (With Jesse o_O)
And when Morello, Who went to recall with her ward
Went to base to buy a new sword! <(-_-)>
Then the last lane Phreak ganked
Was the Jax at top!
Then he went up to the bush, with a lolipop
And lured him to the bush
Where him and Hippalus gave him a big push (=/, sorry jax.)
Then
He did the same thing
To the other noobs jungle
Counter jungling the great corki,
Slapping Ashe, the frosty (-__-)
He even beat the wonderful lee sin
He did all of this with his evil Phreaky Grin.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"Then the noobs down in noobville will all cry QQ! (LADY!)
"That's a noise," grinned the Phreak,
"That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Phreak put his foot to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the lane
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at noob-ville!
The Phreak popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every noob down in noob-ville, the weak and the stupid,
Were cheering! Without any kills at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Phreak, with his Trundle-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
"It came without ribbons! It came without wins!
"It came without masteries, runes or skins!"
And then he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Phreak thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a Kill
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...came from Brazil! (Hue Hue)
And what happened then...?
Well...in noob-ville they say
That the Phreak's small heart
Grew three sizes that day! (Nice guys finish last, Phreak.)
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He /surrendered the game, in bright early light
And he gave up the damage!
He gave the kills back!
And he...
...HE HIMSELF...!
The Phreak carved the Great Chogath!
EDIT: if you get this far, let's get this enough attention so that Phreak, the Christmas Wrecker himself reads this!
EDIT: WE CAN DO THIS! 200 UPVOTES! TELL ALL THE WHOs of WHO-Ville! We can do this! WHOO!
EDIT: WHOO HOO MERRY CHRISTMAS! WE ALMOST HAVE 3,000 VIEWS!
EDIT: The legend himself has spoken.
EDIT: CHRISTMAS COMES FROM BRAZIL!
EDIT: 10k VIEW 500 UPVOTES! LET'S DO THIS! THIS IS AWESOME!
How the Phreak Stole Christmas
Down in noob-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Phreak,
The Noob that lived just north of Noob-ville
Did NOT!
The Phreak hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his unquenchable thirst for pie
It could be, perhaps, that his damage was too high.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
That his boots were two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
Though it is the season,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Noobs,
In Basketball, he always loved shooting hoops (I suck at rhyming lol)
Staring down from his jungle with a sour, Phreaky frown
For his smite, unfortunately, was on cooldown
For he knew every noob down in Noobtown beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their wards!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Phreak his mouse nervously clicking,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For,
Tomorrow, he knew...
..All the noob girls and boys
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their boots!
And then! Oh, the wards! Oh, the Wards! Wards! Wards! Wards!
That's one thing he hated! The WARDS! WARDS! Wards! Wards! (Maybe he should get an oracles....just a thought)
Then the Noobs, fat and old, would sit down to a lane
And they'd lane! And they'd lane!
And they'd LANE!
LANE!
LANE!
LANE!
They would feast on Noob-pudding, and rare Heimer
Phreak plays as jax's angler
And THEN
They'd do something
He liked least of all!
Every noob down in Noob-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the noobss would start jungling!
They'd feed! And they'd feed!
And they'd FEED! FEED! FEED! FEED!
And the more the Phreak thought of this Noob-Christmas-Sing,
The more the Phreak thought, 'I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for 5 years I've put up with it now!
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE PHREAK
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! (if you're wondering, his plan is to gank them and ruin christmas =/)(This makes sense somehow)
"I know just what to do!" The Phreak laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Caitlyn hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Phreaky trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like a ... -__-"
"All I need is a Hecarim."
The Phreak looked around.
But, since 'rims are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Phreak...?
NO! The Phreak simply said,
"If I can't find a 'rim, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Jesse. And prepared the bed (if you know what I mean)
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN
He loaded some shields
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh
And he hitched up old Perring
Then the Phreak said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the lane where the noobs
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their bushes were dark. Quiet /taunts filled the air.
All the 'rakas were all healing sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little noob on the square.
"This is noob number one," the old Phreak Claus hissed
And he ran to the bush, tons of damage in his fist.
Then he ran to the bush. A rather large beak(cut me some slack, Phreak > Beak)
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Phreak
He got dissed only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the green bush
Like corcki, he flew out of it. WHOOSH!
"These k/d's," he grinned, "are the first things to SWOOSH! (don't ask what I was thinking)
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole lane, and he killed every noob!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Phreak, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up to the jungle.
Where he'd share it with his best friend, Rumble.
He heard some raging at mid from the kid,
"And NOW!" grinned the Phreak!, "I will kill their mid!
And the Phreak grabbed the noob, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the of a dove.
He tuned around fast, and he saw a small noob
Little Morello, who was not more than two.
The Phreak had been spotted while he was bored.
Morello got out of her lane to put down a ward.
She stared at the Phreak and said, "Phreaky Claus, why?!
"Why are you taking our Mid lane? WHY!?"
But, you know, that old Phreak was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little noob," the fake Phreaky Claus lied.
Trust me, Your mid lane won't die
I'll take him home to my jungle, my dear.
"I'll fix him up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the noob. Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed. (With Jesse o_O)
And when Morello, Who went to recall with her ward
Went to base to buy a new sword! <(-_-)>
Then the last lane Phreak ganked
Was the Jax at top!
Then he went up to the bush, with a lolipop
And lured him to the bush
Where him and Hippalus gave him a big push (=/, sorry jax.)
Then
He did the same thing
To the other noobs jungle
Counter jungling the great corki,
Slapping Ashe, the frosty (-__-)
He even beat the wonderful lee sin
He did all of this with his evil Phreaky Grin.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"Then the noobs down in noobville will all cry QQ! (LADY!)
"That's a noise," grinned the Phreak,
"That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Phreak put his foot to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the lane
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at noob-ville!
The Phreak popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every noob down in noob-ville, the weak and the stupid,
Were cheering! Without any kills at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Phreak, with his Trundle-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
"It came without ribbons! It came without wins!
"It came without masteries, runes or skins!"
And then he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Phreak thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a Kill
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...came from Brazil! (Hue Hue)
And what happened then...?
Well...in noob-ville they say
That the Phreak's small heart
Grew three sizes that day! (Nice guys finish last, Phreak.)
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He /surrendered the game, in bright early light
And he gave up the damage!
He gave the kills back!
And he...
...HE HIMSELF...!
The Phreak carved the Great Chogath!
EDIT: if you get this far, let's get this enough attention so that Phreak, the Christmas Wrecker himself reads this!
EDIT: WE CAN DO THIS! 200 UPVOTES! TELL ALL THE WHOs of WHO-Ville! We can do this!
EDIT: WHOO HOO MERRY CHRISTMAS! WE ALMOST HAVE 3,000 VIEWS!
EDIT: The legend himself has spoken.
EDIT: CHRISTMAS COMES FROM BRAZIL!
EDIT: 10k VIEW 500 UPVOTES! LET'S DO THIS! THIS IS AWESOME!
EDIT:10K VIEWS! WHAZOO! YAHOO!
This is awesome